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December 5, 2018

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Finding Your Fit...

April 4, 2018

I've spoken about it before, and it bears repeating: fit is an incredibly crucial component of the coaching relationship.  In fact, it's a pretty important component within our lives in general.  When something doesn't fit, we know it, and it likely gives us an uneasy feeling, or rubs us the wrong way entirely.

 

Within a personal relationship the concept of fit is relatively easy to assess.  If we don't compliment each other in a positive way, it likely won't take long for complications to arise.  The coaching relationship is somewhat similar, in that if coach and client don't exactly mesh well, the level of success borne from that relationship will be limited or non-existent.

 

It's other areas of our lives where fit becomes a trickier issue; for example, our careers.  What we do for a living obviously has tremendous impact on our daily lives, in that it provides one of the means for us to live (read: money).  Due to that importance, many of us take on vocations that do not speak to us, light us up, or even bring us enjoyment, because they pay the bills.  So we keep doing them.  And we then wonder why we're unhappy.

 

Certainly, I do not belittle anyone who takes on responsibility to provide for themselves and their family; however, that responsibility need not carry the weight of making the bearer so dreadfully unhappy that they suffer because of it.  I also won't go so far as to say that we all should seek only careers that light us up to the utmost degree, as, for so many of us, our passions do not have the capacity to pay the bills.  Rather, I'm suggesting that we discover a balance that fits within our lives, where we can have enjoyment, and also the kind of quality of life which we desire.

 

Finding the right fit is how we create that balance.  Your passion for service and contribution unfulfilled by your career as a loans officer?  Find a way to fit time as a volunteer into your schedule.  Not connecting with others on a personal basis because of your job in online marketing?  Find social clubs to fit in with, and fulfill that desire to create personal connection.  We may even determine that the career we have chosen is simply no longer right for us; in fact, it may never have been.  This does not mean we have failed or that we're quitters for wanting to choose a different path; it simply means that it's our time to walk a new one.  We are the sole individuals responsible for our own happiness, and must take that responsibility on ourselves to find the kind of fit that speaks to our intention and truth.

 

Our schedules do get busy and crazy at all sorts of times, and too often we forget that we are the ones who signed ourselves up for them.  In the thick of life, we may feel trapped or confined -- unable to make any changes or escape the whirlwind of it all.  It's those moments we need to step back and remember that we're the ones in charge of our lives.  It may not be easy to give up one thing for another, but if it creates more fit and balance, then it's worth our time and serious consideration.

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